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10 basic steps to lead a successful interview

These steps can also be used to have a better conversation:

1. Don’t multitask
– Don’t think about what you’re having for dinner or a fight you had with your partner
– If you’re distracted, you’re not listening

2. Don’t pontificate
– If you wanted to state your opinion without pushback or growth, write a blog
“True listening requires a setting aside of oneself” -M. Scott Peck

3. Use open-ended questions
– Start questions with who, what, where, when, and why
– If you ask a complicated question, you’ll get a simple answer
– If you ask something like, “how did that feel?” you’ll get a response with a description

4. Go with the flow
– If a thought comes up in the middle of someone else talking, let it come and let it go
– If you’re thinking about the next question you’re going to ask, you’re not listening

5. If you don’t know, say that you don’t know – talk should not be cheap

6. Don’t equate your experience with theirs
– If they’re talking about losing a family member, getting fired, etc., don’t compare it to your experience
– All experiences are individual. It is not about you

7. Try not to repeat yourself. It’s condescending and boring.

8. Stay out of the weeds.
– People don’t care about the dates, names, years
– They care about what you’re like, what you have in common

9. MOST IMPORTANT – LISTEN
– The average person talks at 225 words/minute, but we can listen to up to 500 words/minute. Our minds are filling in those other 275 words and we get distracted
– Make a conscious effort to listen

10. Be brief
– Be interested in other people
– Keep your mouth shut and your mind open

What are some other conversation tips that have served you well over the years? Let me know in the comments